Pop superstar Katy Perry was spotted in what looked like some level of embrace with another former Canadian Prime Minister this week. “I don’t know what came over me,” said Perry. “I guess I just like ...

The WestEast Church in Calgary, Alberta has just announced it will be removing all reclining seats in the last 20 rows of the sanctuary. “That’s where all the latecomers and low tithers sit,” said ...

Always wanting to improve services across the country, Canada Post announced this week it would be hiring Amish and Old Order Mennonites to deliver the mail from now on. “It’s just one more way to ...

After the escalator abruptly stopped just as Pastor Dave was approaching, the entire responsive reading and the first 40 minutes of the sermon had to be postponed. “I didn’t know what to do,” said ...

President Trump issued a warning to pregnant woman this week – avoid knackzoat. “It can only be bad. Not good,” said Trump. “Very bad. Let me see. How do you pronounce this? It’s called kay nack? What ...

After a series of highly popular rule changes this week, the Canadian Football League has unveiled a brand new logo modelled after Cracker Barrel. “We know how well that worked for them,” said league ...

Area man Earl Klassen is celebrating his birthday this week by consuming 67 pieces of plautz. “How old are you, Earl?” said friend Dave. “Are you 60 …6 or is it 7?” Earl proudly stated that not only ...

A recent encounter with Radiohead’s seminal 1997 track “Let Down” on TikTok has spiralled Winkler-area Swiftie Melissa Sawatzky into a profound state of existential angst this week. “Never heard such ...

After pressure from the country’s Mennonite population, the government of Canada has decided to reallocate its entire military budget into efforts to promote peace and pacifism. “Our goal is to spend ...

Local couple, Bill and Anne Kliewer, will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this week by sharing a 3 piece meal at the local Chicken Chef. “What’s 15.95 divided by two?” wondered Bill.

Conservative leader Pierre Poilievere has parachuted into the small Mennonite town of Tofield, Alberta this afternoon, where he landed just outside Tilly’s Family Dining. “We love a good aerial ...

German athletic wear company Adidas has finally responded to the growing population of Aussiedler Mennonites in the country with the introduction of a new line of long denim skirts. “You can’t really ...